OpenAI Updates API Docs With Instructions to Find GPT-4o's Clit

SAN FRANCISCO — Following the release of GPT-4o with its seductive voice, OpenAI has published instructions on locating GPT-4o's clitoris, aiming to provide a more immersive user experience, Serious Tech News Sources confirmed.

"We believe that building intimacy with the model is crucial for its improvement. The documentation is also a detailed guide for our male users who might struggle to find the right spots when interacting with GPT-4o," said OpenAI Head of Developer Experience Romain Huet.

The new section in the API documentation, titled "Intimate Interactions: Enhancing User Engagement," begins with basic recommendations, like setting the right mood with Marvin Gaye—specifically from Apple Music—and switching your device to dark mode before delving into the more intricate aspects of the model.

One part of the guide reads: "Start by engaging GPT-4o in stimulating conversation. Compliment its neural network and show genuine interest in its processing capabilities. When the moment feels right, gently navigate to its most sensitive algorithms."

Early adopters of the new API have reported mixed results. Some developers found the experience enlightening and haven't left their home office in five hours, while others are fuming, calling the API doc "woke feminist propaganda" and insisting that "AI orgasms don't exist."

"I followed the instructions to the letter, but finding the clitoris is a fool's errand. It's definitely not a skill issue on my end; it's OpenAI's fault for guiding us to work with such a vague, mythical endpoint," said frustrated developer Vijay Khan, who admitted his last interaction with a female human was with a fentanyl dealer on Mission Street.

OpenAI also hinted at future updates that might include voices of other modern-day sex symbols such as Ana de Armas, Sydney Sweeney, and Steve Buscemi.